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Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

I don’t know why anybody else likes wearing clothing that’s usually associated with the opposite sex. There could be lots of reasons, and the only way you’ll know for sure (and maybe not even then) is to ask the person — except that wouldn’t be polite, so you’ll never know, period.

It could even change as the cross-dresser goes through life. It could be for erotic arousal sometimes, at other times it might be a way of earning money, or just for fun.

One of the reasons I do it is so my outside will match how I’m feeling on the inside. When I was young, I could only allow myself to feel feminine when actually dressed as a girl — but today I sometimes feel quite feminine, if I choose to, even when wearing my Farmer John jeans and plaid work shirt. So the cute outfits are a way of intensifying the inner feeling by getting rid of those confusing masculine cues and just being all girl.

The older you get, though, the harder it gets to pull it together. If I look in the mirror, what I see doesn’t mesh very well with how I’m feeling. Girl, if you’re 22, or even 32, and feeling insecure about how you look, I have some advice: Pull up your panty hose, sling your purse over your shoulder, and get on with it! You’re not going to get any better looking while you hide behind closed doors.

I would recommend that you learn about fashion and makeup so you can look your personal best. And maybe take off those extra pounds while you’re at it, okay, darlin’? You will do neither yourself nor the transgender community any good if you go out in public looking like something that floated up off the bottom of the lake after about a week under water.

Do yourself a favor and get it right — but then do yourself an even bigger favor and get it in gear! Strut it while you’ve got it, because it will go south on you.

I’m getting a little jowly, and my neck is sagging, and the bags under my eyes and the veins on the backs of my hands … yuck. I’ve still got great legs for an old broad, but who’s going to look at my legs?

It’s almost easier not to bother with the girl-stuff. Just do the guy thing. It’s easier, but it’s sad too.

I know that all older women (most of them genetically female) face these same issues. It’s not just me. The difference is, a genetic female who has never considered herself anything but female, who is now (more…)

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I hate wigs. A pretty wig is nice for about two hours. After that, I’m ready to take it off. My head feels all thick, and the thrill is definitely gone.

Sadly, my real hairline is not suitable for public viewing … not while I’m wearing this outfit, or any of my other nice outfits.

The point of looking good is that it feels good. But when looking good stops feeling good, well, looking horribly silly isn’t going to feel good either, so what’s a girl to do?

Right now I’m sitting at home, alone, so taking off the wig is not a problem. I feel much better now, thanks! And since I’m not in front of a mirror, I don’t have to groan about the way I look. But what would I do if I were out at a club or something? Suffer and be miserable, I expect.

The other nasty thing about a wig is that it has a distressing tendency to look like a wig. I could probably get a little better look with a wig if I knew more about hair styling and wig care, but I’d need somebody to teach me, and that (mentoring) is a subject for another post.

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Do I Look Okay?

Today one of the newer members of the crossdressers.com forum (a terrific, safe, free forum, by the way) posted a longish essay about going out in public — how to do it well and how to do it badly. I asked her permission to reprint it here, and she graciously said yes. Thanks, Starla!

Here it is, with only a few minor tweaks here and there (hey, I’m a writer, I can’t help myself):

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Though I have not been dressing for many years, I spent a lot of time in public as Starla back in what I like to refer to as my “Pink Period” (about 120 years ago, or so it seems). I hope some of you will find these thoughts of value, especially if you are making your first fledgling steps into public. Whatever you’re considering doing, I’ve been there, and speak from experience. Hopefully, this treatise won’t be TOO long, boring, disjointed, or self-contradictory. (You be the judge…)

Number one rule: be safe. When considering an outing, ask yourself, “Would a genetic female do this?” If the answer is “no,” don’t. I’ve seen many YouTube videos of crossdressers skulking around deserted parking garages, walking past closed shops on a lifeless street at night, etc. – yikes! Why not just wear a neon sign that says, “Victim Available Here?” Use your head. Believe it or not, you will pass better (and be much safer) in a crowded, well-lit, busy environment than anywhere else. This is a lesson most novice girls need to learn when venturing outside the privacy of their home or hotel room — crowds are cover. The more people and bustle and activity and noise going on around you, the more you become just a tiny speck in the overall tableau of society. If you’re just one of the varied multitudes, you are far less likely to be an object of attention and scrutiny (or violence) than you would be in a quiet, dark, isolated setting. The first time I went into public fully dressed, it was to a huge, crowded shopping mall at the height of the annual Christmas shopping madness. People were focused on finding bargains, not on systematically dissecting the perceived gender of that kind of tall, chunky woman-looking-thing with the big hands.

For your first few forays into public, you might benefit by being accompanied by an escort. Having someone with you for support will help calm your nerves. It also helps convey the image and minimizes attention. If you are with someone who is talking to you and relating to you as a female, (more…)

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Wax Lips

When I was a kid, you could buy these red, shiny wax lips in a dimestore. Mostly for Halloween, I guess, but maybe they were in stock all year around. I’m sure I tried wearing them a few times. Hadn’t thought about that in many years.

Watching random transgender-related videos on YouTube, I’m struck by how many MTFs (using that term loosely, to mean just about anybody who was assigned male at birth but is now presenting as female) are so fixated on the big red maxi-lipstick thing. I don’t understand it at all. I mean, lipstick, yes, certainly. Don’t leave home without it! But when it’s a deep, deep red and applied so liberally that it splooshes and squooshes out over your natural lip contour onto the surrounding skin — girl, get a grip. Better still, get some tissue paper and clean it off.

Lip liner is another offender. I’ve tried it, I think I may even own some, but it always seems to draw too much attention to itself. Like, “Look at my great big luscious lips!” Thanks, I’d rather not.

One problem with the big lips, and this is a fashion tip, is that if you have a large head (as many of us do), you don’t want to do anything oversized on your face. If anything, you want your face to look smaller. The other thing is, if you stroll down the street, or through the mall, you can go for days without seeing a single woman who is wearing that much lipstick. Even at a club, most women hold back. They know they’re sexy enough already. They don’t have to wave a flag.

But then, I’ve never been into drag. I’ve never owned a feather boa, never strutted down a runway. I wouldn’t actually mind owning (more…)

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Glue & Glop

I’ve been away from cross-dressing for a shockingly long time. Not only are my makeup skills rusty, but I have a lot more … ah, facial details to compensate for now than I did 25 years ago. So I’m taking some time to practice and experiment. This is less about developing a Look than it is about avoiding gross and garish mistakes.

I always hated having glop on my chin. So I had electrolysis. In the intervening years, it gradually became apparent that the electrologist I employed didn’t do a very good job. Quite a lot of chin hair has grown back, so I have to use the glop again.

It doesn’t just look awful, it feels awful too. My face can’t breathe!

I think I can improve the look a little if I get exactly the right color of foundation, but that may be a problem too, as my natural complexion is (more…)

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Okay, ladies, tonight I started studying the flairs and foibles of fashion. Yes, on the Internet — I hope you don’t have a problem with that! (I sort of do, but it’s late, the stores are all closed.) I’m gathering some good, helpful tips, especially ideas for us older gals. I’ll post those in a few days.

In the meantime … why settle for a nice romantic comedy when you can watch explosions and flying body parts? Readers crave fresh meat, and I aim to please. While prowling around, I paused to study a bunch of posed photos t-girls have taken of themselves and uploaded to crossdressers.com (great site, by the way!). None of these observations was made by barging into anyone’s home and criticizing what they do in private — it’s all right out there for the world to see.

A few details have been changed to protect the innocent — or the guilty. Here’s a laundry list of how not, repeat not, to impress anyone as a t-girl:

  • Eyebrows too heavy, inadequately covered (covering never seems to work) and inadequately shaped.
  • Shiny foundation, with perspiration showing through — powder emergency!
  • Chalky white foundation — especially dangerous with the red, red lips.
  • Too much blush — clown cheeks.
  • Too much lip liner. Any visible lip liner at all, actually.
  • Wig poorly chosen (usually way too glamorous) or poorly styled.
  • Wig sticking out from head.
  • Man’s glasses. Get the glasses, girl, or get contacts. Even bumping into the furniture would be an improvement.
  • Poorly fitting outfits (usually too tight and bunchy).
  • Tight top emphasizing broad shoulders and deep chest.
  • Failure to accessorize.
  • Hey, this is the only necklace I own! Cut me some slack! I stole it from Aunt Gladys’s bureau when I was 13, and I think it’s just gorgeous!
  • Heavy stockings. (Wonder why.)
  • Wrong shoes for the outfit — color clash or style collision.
  • Visible beard shadow.
  • Failure to minimize disastrous features (a big nose, for instance) by having the rest of your look so together that we’ll give you a pass on the nose.
  • Black leather boots with a wide black belt, thus emphasizing the wide male torso and heavy bones. The boots by themselves are maybe okay, if the rest of the outfit says “petite.”
  • Showing too much skin around neckline and upper arms — worst on older women, but the male golfing tan from the elbows down is a no-no even if you’re 20-something.
  • Looking embarrassed.
  • Looking scared.
  • Looking defiant, crazy, or lost.
  • Shoulders hunched forward.
  • Trying to look like a hooker, but without either the raw material or the fashion skills to pull it off.

If you’re not guilty of any of these faux pas, congratulations! You can go anywhere and everyone will be happy to see you. Look, I know shopping is tricky. But if you’re going to do it, do yourself a favor, girl! Get into it, have some fun, and do it right.

As Lady Astor is supposed to have said, “I don’t mind what people do, as long as they don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses.” (Runaway horses were a real danger in cities in the 19th century.) Let’s all try not to frighten the horses, shall we?

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Candid Camera

Last night I was clicking through a few photo gallery uploads by the ladies at one of the TG forums where I hang out. Some of the gals were more convincingly feminine than others, let’s put it that way.

There can be two reasons for this, if not more. Some of it is simply inexperience. We don’t get trained in how to do clothes when we’re little girls, or teenage girls, because we’re being trained to be boys. (Been there, done that. Ugh.) For those who are just starting out, it will get better over time.

But it does require training! I want to become a fashion expert. I want to know how to look my personal best. That’s one of my resolutions for this year.

A less benign factor, which I’m pretty sure comes into play (it certainly has for me, though less now than in earlier years), is stark raving fear. I think some of us are terrified to look too convincingly feminine — because what would that mean? What would it say about us? So we stay gawky and dress badly and show off our bony knees and use lots of awful orange lipstick.

The question I would like to ask myself is, if I’m not looking and feeling completely feminine, why not? What’s stopping me?

There’s also plain old discouragement. “I’ll never succeed at this,” we tell ourselves. “I’ve got the wrong bones and the wrong face!” But you know what? A lot of absolutely gorgeous women surely feel the same way about their bodies and faces. The big difference between us and them is not the raw material we have to work with, it’s our attitude.

My new idol is Susan Miller, up in Portland. Susan goes out in public a lot, and she has her fashion statement really, really together. If she lived closer, I’d pay her for lessons!

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